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I was out on maneuvers and caught a random television turned on to a random daytime diva talk show in the electronics department at Best Buy. I was shocked and horrified to see the heartthrob of the early ’80s promoting his comeback album. Rick Springfield, what happened? Life must have been so hard these last thirty years, I’m so sorry! 

Why does the entertainment industry insist on trotting out these geezers? How can I maintain my facade of youth and vibrancy when Kevin Costner, Robert DeNiro and Meryl Streep are playing geriatrics? I wasn’t able to embrace the “60 is the new 40” marketing ploy, but I better give it another go. All my favorite musicians and actors can’t live forever, but I hate to think of the day I see that odd TV turned on while I wait at Grease Monkey. Julia Roberts and Matt Damon playing grandparents, please, I’m not ready!