I’ve been thinking about getting a roommate. Not because I want a stranger living in my house, I’m bored and need to liven things up, but because I think it would be a way to make some money, plain and simple. I’ve hardly worked in almost five years and haven’t worked full time in over ten. Needless to say, I’m burning through my savings pretty quickly. My divorce really took the wind out of my sails and I’ve been slow to rebound. With enough money to live on- not enough to retire – I find myself precariously perched on unskilled branches and casting a shadow on the door of geriatrics. I have the good fortune of owning a nice, comfortable and roomy townhome. Much more than I need for my little dog and I. Somewhere the idea of a roommate started stirring around in my head and I became quite attached to the thought.
I started making plans for putting a kitchen in my basement so my Roomie and I could have as much autonomy as possible – it became an obsession. Did you know Pinterest is full of kitchenette ideas for basements? At this point, I think I wanted a kitchen in my basement whether or not I had a roommate. This could only increase my resale value- I’ll call it a wet bar!
Hello, Craigslist! I began flirting with the Housing Wanted section, just to get an idea of what was out there. Let me tell you, everything is out there! Every possible married couple, single man, student, young woman, young pregnant woman, woman with child or teenager, or both, <deep breath> young family, retired doctor, old, young, in between, single, living together, groups of two, three or more, want to crash on your floor, sofa, or spare room and will pay you anywhere from $200 a month on up, hopefully with a private bath, but not a deal-breaker! It’s really quite fascinating and you get another look at the world around you simply by taking a look at a local Craigslist Housing Wanted section. There are desperate people, lots of them, all around us! I bumped into an ad that mentioned he was a contractor/remodeler willing to do trade, so I thought perhaps he would build that kitchenette in partial trade for his rent. I cautiously sent a text to the posted number. ” Are you still looking for housing”, he immediately texted me back. He was. That’s good, I guess. I still didn’t know what I was doing. I was just testing the waters. He was my age. That’s bad. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend /roommate. He was glad it was furnished as he had nothing. Good and bad. This meant I didn’t have to empty my basement and pay for a storage unit, but what fifty-seven-year-old man has nothing? And btw, he had no car, he rode a bike and was living in a motel. Bad. We texted each other over the weekend. Many details of this deal seemed attractive, I needed the income, life when you’re my age and single is not about life getting easier. I hadn’t told him my last name and he didn’t have my street address. I’d also noticed a nifty feature on my phone, “BLOCK CALLER”, and I thought I would use that if I needed to.
I agreed to meet him at a local restaurant and discuss the details – and check him out. I walked in and saw him at the bar. He was cleaned up and shorter than he said he was (they always are). He was nice, friendly and very much wanted to live in my basement. A little too much. Didn’t even care if he saw it first! He was just too pushy and he made me paranoid. I heard that little voice we’re supposed to listen to. He seemed to want to be family. Share groceries and failed Friday nights. Menu planning and movie selection. I think he needed a friend. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be that friend. I want to help people but I don’t want to bail out someone who is taking advantage of my good nature. He suggested we try it for two weeks, it seemed pretty simple. “What do you say, ready to give me a key?” he said with a big ‘ole laugh and a smile……it was like ice water in my veins. No. Not in a million.
The question I’ve asked myself since is this, who’s better off? I have a car and a home, but no job. He has a job, but no home and no car. It’s not that this needs to be answered, but it brought a lot of insecurities bubbling to the surface. He seemed so close to the edge, to slip off into the abyss, he had so little to hang on to. Am I much better off? Just a misstep and I’m falling from the high wire with no safety net. I’ve been keeping my balance but I want to come down. I activated the Block Caller feature, I’ll stick with my little dog for now.